Guns & Ammo: Hunting the Slurtoth in rural South Carolina
June 22, 2012
My co-workers from the New Brookland Tavern like shooting guns and one of them just got an AK. It's also my birthday and I've been invited to blow up stuff with some Russian made assault rifles somewhere in the sticks of South Carolina. You could say it was a redneck safari complete with beasts from around the world including our fictional zombie apocalypse nemesis, the Slurtoth. The Slurtoth is the zombie offspring of a two-toed sloth and a tortoise. It has all sorts of powers and is extremely dangerous.
That's why we brought guns and Mountain Dew. The Mountain Dew is Magic John's - he's the house engineer at the club and when we run out of the Dew he questions why he is being punished. Like newborns in West Virginia, Magic loves the Mountain Dew.
Meet Ryan and his new AK-47 WASR-10. I suggest ya'll run to the hills.
Did I mention our closest neighbors were the inhabitants of an exotic animal farm?
Magic with his Moisin–Nagant M-44. The Moisin was the standard issue weapon for Soviet troops at the start of World War II. In other words, the largest mobilized army in history used this weapon to kill Nazis.
For a moment Ryan thought he saw the Slurtoth creeping through the Aiken County woods. Luckily, Magic's Saiga 12 was within reaching distance and we were able to scare the South Carolinian backwoods legend away. For now at least.
Two (2) Sig-Saur SP2022 9mm handguns are only useful against juvenile slurtooth.
Meanwhile, on the rainbow crapping unicorn search I came across a rather significant clue in Ryan's Neighborhood. It looks like I am totally on the right track. Glorious.
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