Soda Citizen: Josh Bumgarner vs. the Giant Duck

December 13, 2016  •  2 Comments


Sean: Would you rather fight one donkey-sized duck or 100 duck sized donkeys?

Josh Bumgarner: I’d probably go with the one donkey-sized duck. Yep. I would fight a four or five foot duck. I feel like I would trip over all those tiny donkeys. And once I trip over them and they are attacking me, that’s a lot and they’re all kicking and shit.

South Carolina PhotographerSouth Carolina PhotographerJosh Bumgarner photo by Columbia SC photographer Sean Rayford

What are three “don’ts” that you can advise bar customers to adhere to?

Don’t throw a drink at a bartender. That’s definitely in there. And don’t touch a bartender. That always freaks me out. If I don’t know you and I’m not looking and you touch me. I’m like, woah. One time I got backhanded in the mouth across the bar. That’s definitely a big no-no. And don’t argue when you are drunk. The bar will always win. It’s always gonna be right. That’s why I could never work at a corporate bar.

If you could take one friend to help you in the fight against the giant duck, who would it be?

I feel like it’s a no-brainer. Eric Johnstone, he’s an old friend. He knows jujitsu. Why wouldn’t you take someone that knows how to fight? Sam (Hoy) might be good too. Because he can wrestle.

What have been some memorable Christmas gifts that you've received?

Nintendo was the first one that changed the game. It was the regular Nintendo with Super Mario. That’s the first present I remember freaking out and then playing it all the time. I got a trampoline one year but I don't think that was a Christmas. Might have been a Birthday thing. The trampoline was awesome.

I need you to give me the name of a big dumb animal.

I’m gonna go with cow.

I need a clothing accessory.

A broach. No, A bolo tie.

Ok. If a cow wearing a bolo walked into the door right there, what would he say?

I would hope “moo.” But he is probably here to rob us. He’d probably say something like, “Give me all your money. This is a heist. This is a hostage situation. I don’t know what the motive is though. His name is probably Cleveland.

How do you make a tuna sandwich?

I make the tuna salad and then almost always melt swiss cheese on it. And hot mustard. I toast the bread on a cast iron on one side and then put the tuna on both sides. And I put cheese on both sides. I forgot the mustard. Put it in the toaster oven and let it melt. And some lettuce on there. That’s more like a tuna melt.

What did you think of The Blair Witch Project?

It scared the shit out of me. That was one of the first movies that I was totally scared of. And the line going in, it was like the longest line I’d ever seen to get it a movie. It scared the hell out of me.



South Carolina photographer Columbia Sc PhotographerSouth Carolina photographer Sean RayfordPhoto by South Carolina photographer Sean Rayford



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