Grown Up Kids Slip-n-Slide, Bang Snaps to the Face

July 05, 2017 • 170 Comments

“We’re from Sumter!” yells Leia Richardson while holding a garden hose from the top of her front yard yesterday afternoon near Rosewood Dr.

Sporting a red, white and blue two piece and a neon hat that reads, “Let’s get fucking weird,” her sister Katie backs up into S. Bull St. before diving down a front lawn covered in painters plastic sheeting. A shallow pool of 6-8 inches awaits celebrators of freedom and a Drake song projects from the garage. It’s the Fourth of July.

Across town and five hours later Jeremy Burt enlists me to demonstrate how one can explode bang snaps on the human face without noticeable injury. He wears sunglasses. Impressed, I remind myself that I’ve still got a pack of of Saturn Missiles on the bleachers of the football field at the B Avenue Park. Later on the porch he demonstrates a between the teeth method of explosion.

Leia has been building a Grown Kids Slip-n-Slide in her front yard for the last six Fourth of Julys. “The first year, we got regular Slip-n-Slides and they are like five feet tall. So I bought eight Slip-n-Slides and they kept falling apart and there was this pool at the bottom that you had to flop into. You'd rip you're fucking stomach up on these things we were using to hold the Slip-n-Slides down with.”

The following year she made a trip to Wal-Mart and picked up several large sheets of plastic sheeting.

“Last year we figured out it would pool down there so we've got an 18 x 25 and down there is a 20 x 25 plastic sheet and it just pools so well. Last year I had an engineer guy out here and so it was really nice down there. It was like eight to ten inches. I know he is stalking my Facebook page and is like, "You suck.”

Other materials used for Grown Kids Slip-n-Slide:
Four cinder blocks, ten pool noodles, two garden hoses, one brick, lots of duct tape, dish soap and water.

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Grown Up Kids Slip-n-Slide, Bang Snaps to the Face

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