Soda Citizen: Sean Thomson loves satanic crabs

August 07, 2018

Sean Rayford: If you participated in organized crime, what would your role and nickname be?
Sean Thomson: Something boring, like accounting, even though I'm bad with numbers. I'd be the worst person for the job.

And your nickname?
"The Laundromat" I guess.

Columbia Sc portrait photographyColumbia Sc portrait photographySoda Citizen Portraits - Sean Thomson with saw in Columbia, SC.

What do you think of seafood?
I like it. I love deviled crabs.

What are deviled crabs?
It's like a crab cake stuffed in the shell of a crab and fried. It's very much just a harder way to eat crab cakes but it makes it worth it. When you see a bunch of shells lined up, you feel like you've accomplished something.

Tell me about a bad movie that you've seen recently.
Actually, Shana and I have started trying to watch a whole series of bad movies. So we went through all the Police Academies. Every single one. And that last one where they go to Moscow... it's... I need to re-watch it because I was having a few drinks at the time. Just to make sure it really was that bad. But it was so awful. We also watched all the Ernest movies. Which the first few are good, but then it just kinda gets worse. Like "Ernest Goes to Africa" is a rough one.

Do you do Kung Fu?
I would like to one day I guess.


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What's your opinion on South of the Border?
I thought it was this big thing growing up but I'm kinda disappointed.

So, one time in eighth grade I had a substitute math teacher who pronounced our name, "Semen," during roll call. Have people ever royally fucked up your name?
I always get the "Scene." Also, my last name is weird and people will write it "Thompson," with a "P," even if they look at it in an email they just assume I forgot to put the "P" in there.

What's your favorite instrument to play right now?
I always love playing bass because that's what I started with. But it depends on what I haven't been playing. Like if I haven't played guitar in a while, I love playing guitar.

Have you ever toilet papered someone's house?
I have not. I was too wimpy of a kid. Too afraid I'd get caught.

You went to Myrtle Beach recently, tell me about something that you did there.
We went to the Ripley's Aquarium place and had a bunch of tequila beforehand and it was fun. We figured out if you go to Sonic and get frozen limeade they are really good with tequila in it. There is a Sonic in West Columbia across from the Bi-Lo and there is a liquor store next to it, so it's almost like they know. Location is everything.

What occupation would you be interested in doing one hundred and fifty years ago?
I think I'd like to deliver ice. I just think that would be a cool job. I like cold things. I could just hang around ice all day. I usually sweat like a fat old whore.

Do you think those guys were paid decently?
I wonder if hey got free ice too?

Can you smell asparagus pee?
Yea. It's bad when it's your own but it's even worse when it's somebody else's. You go to the bathroom and you're like "aaaaagggghhhhh - NO - why?"

How would you describe a palmetto bug to someone who has never encountered one?
Imagine, a compressed Satan. But that's if you don't have shoes on. If you have shoes on it's just a little bug. If I don't have shoes on, I'll jump up in a man's arms in skinny minute.




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